Dealing with a broken heart...

My boyfriend broke up with me today. Now, you all probably know, because you've all talked to me, that yes... I loved him. But I still had issues with that. At first I thought it was my trust issues... But then I realised that it was very real. I wrote a poem, its REALLY not good, describing how I feel... And have felt... Its REALLY not good. Thats why its going here instead of under Art.

I call it Strength to Smile

It never went well
And always, tears fell
But they clung on to the smallest thing
It was, forever, just a fling
But it all went too far
The door to her heart stood ajar
But every night she cried
For the trusth just wouldn't hide
That it was never meant to be
These two souls trapped together could never be free
His love turned from fire to ash
And down her tears crashed
As black as the red, raw pain
She took him into her heart once again
Over and over this played
Always the same
Identical story, only different words
His feet on the ground, her soul soaring with birds
Then he took the final step
The courage she didn't have, he'd managed to get
And he said that it just didn't work
Those simple words painted her face with tears of hurt
She knew it had to happen
But the courage for it, she was lacking
And her tears melted invisable ice and snow
That were barricading her heart from a world she is yet to know
It didn't stop her heart break
Even though the emotions were fake
He promised he wouldn't hurt her
Yet now he closed the door
Whimpering, she cowers as comfort surrounds this girl
But only time, and therefore hurt makes a pearl.
And she won't pretend to deny how she feels
The pain is there, it's all too real
Her first honest love, now lost
But its all for the best, the best just comes at a cost
He was not the ground beneath her feet.
The earth still turns with the same beat
Its only her world that got broken
And that can be healed, her heart has spoken
Nothing is ever truly bad
Its our perception which makes us sad.
Life may be a war we''ll never win
But this is a new experience that she can begin
She knows what she deserves, and needs
Listen to her spirit's cries and pleas
She knows its for the best, but it it hurts all the while
Yet shes conquered it because in her pain, she finds the strength to smile.

Its no masterpeice... But its my honest feelings and raw emotions...

I'm sorry to hear that! But remember it's HIS loss!

And a few words of wisdom for you to get you through

- Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.

- When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

Take care okay?!

I can try... But... It REALLY hurts.. Its like, I dont want to feel... Ever...

Don't be like that Sarah, You can do better, trust me

Maybe, I dont WANT to do better... I just want everything to be the way it was before...

Im sick of all my relationships changing, being destroyed, and my life screwing up...

I hate it. I just hate it. I did nothing to deserve this pain.

Life sucks, its like that for everyone, you just need to learn to put it behind you.

I still remember, at least allow me to feel! Its not my fault that u fuckin dumped me!

Wasn't me!!.... Ok, i'll leave you alone

Euhm.... Hacker dumped you? he's your ex? oh ouch

Yeah.... I think i will do the bolt over to the controversy forum

Where is that Forum?? stuff it, ill be on the chat

Hey, Spock (Hacker)... Look, I dont wanna say this in person, and its easier if you just read it on this forum, lol...

Anyway, I'm over it. Its almost like the Universe is screaming at me not to trust people. But after the way the universe, or god, or whatever higher power there is has fucked me up, theres no way I'm giving into it.

I will be your friend again, I'll probably get on better with you as a mate anyway. And I forgive you, our relationship was pretty screwed anyway, we have nothing in common... If you still WANT to be my friend, anyway?

My point is, I will trust again, I will love again. I am not going to be brought down by this, its only life after all...

Anyway... Yeah... Seeing you and Matt today, it made me realise that we really are far more compatible as friends... In fact, I only want to be friends now anyway... I mean, yeah, I'll miss what we had, but I'll remember the good times, and they'll be more good times if we just mates as well, I hope.

Anyway... U still wanna be my friend?

Wow, Jedi, it is like reading the words from my head... oh oh oh, does that count as an OBE :shocked: lol, yes, of course i will be friends with you, and did you like the present me and matt got you with sloths money, lol.

Lol, its nice... Y are u shocked?

im gona miss the good times for sure, but there will be more, just i guess, not exactly in the same way

im shocked cos i got to use a random word from this site

yeah... I mean, we can have more fun, just not the same sort of fun...
I still love you, but just as a friend. I mean, when u dumped me, it was shocking and sad, but more because I felt like you didnt care about me than anything else... Btw, do u get the feeling we'll get on BETTER as friends? lol

Yeah, i do...

Me too, hehe, well, this should be interesting... LOL

I'm glad everything worked out

yes, rather publicly, lol

Man you guys are cool. You seemed to sort out this issue without me even noticing... It's you 2 can still be friends after what happened. I had a relationship where after I dumped her she never talked to me again. That was sad. But any way have a good day!

Ezack!

Lol, i remember she said she didn't want to c me until i went to sachool, i saw her yesterday, oops

rather publicly

yeah, i was gona lock the topic, but you told me not to lol.