Hurting People...

I always hurt people, I dont mean to, but its almost like if people are around me, they get hurt...

Being an empath, I feel their pain, and they say it's not my fault, sometimes it definitely IS my fault, like, I've done it knowing it would hurt them, even if I didnt want to...

But other times its like, there are unnaturally too many people who are suicidal around me, and its like theycome for me to help, but I think I'm cursed or something, and I CAUSE their pain... I dont know... Its just how it feels...

Hope not it isn't me that is making you feel that. That would be really crap if it were because of me. Hope everything goes well for you

Ezack!

Its not you... Well, you having issues is kinda making me think it, but that just proves my point... All I do is hurt people. Honestly, I feel like hiding in my room and never coming out, so I can never hurt people...

That wouldn't be very fun being in your own room with no contact at all. And you don't hurt everything you come into contact with. I've been very privelaged to be your friend. I always thought you were a nice girl (more like platonically) until maybe the time I saw you in detention. But at least now I know that's because you didn't do your homework lol. You try to help so many people, and you help me so much that I don't find it fit enough to just thank you for it. Hehehe.

Ezack!

awwww! ezack, i feel so happy now! I love helping u, but i just dont want to hurt people (u), even unintentionally...

Don't worry about hurting me Sarah. I'd rather be your friend and also be hurt by you than not be your friend at all. And I'm pretty sure that alot of other people feel this way too.

Ezack!

No, I cannot take hurting anyone... I mean, thats what people say, but I don't want to hurt you, and if I am doing this... I'm screwing up everything...

I can't do that...

Hey don't worry about it. At least I know that when you are hurting me (which I do not re-call that happening) I know that you don't mean to hurt me.

Ezack!

Damn. I've worked out why i have such screwed up empathy at the moment... And it is not a good reason...

Not-Accepted wrote:

I'd rather be your friend and also be hurt by you than not be your friend at all.

As Ezack said we love u and dont care if u do hurt us.But quite honestly u have never hurt me and i wouldn't care if u did.Anyway it would take a lot to hurt me

Yeah I know... But its almost like just being around me causes people to be hurt in some way... I mean, everyone I care about seems to get problems... You know what I mean?

Sarah, you need to listen to me and Jasmine. We prefer being your friend and I'm sure you do too (I hope). Anyways our problems (mine for instance) is not your fault. That is mine and me only. You're an awesome friend that would never hurt anyone if you could help it .

Ezack!

But what if I CANT help it? I mean, what if just being around me has cursed u to have problems???

And well, on a completely unrelated note, but one I will mention all the same, I kinda sorta think that maybe because I broke up with Spock I ownt be accepted with you guys anymore... I know it seems silly... But, yeah, I've been scared of that since he dumped me.

Tu plaisantes!?! Of course you would be still accepted. You came into our group with out Spock. You will be accepted whether you are with him or not.

Ezack!

But maybe you people won't like me so much without him...

Why would that happen. It's not like they're all Spocks friends and will only like you if you are going out wih him. You are your own person that does not actually need him to have friends that are also his. And it's not like he is going to turn everyone against you unlike me and Shinnay. I still can't believe that in your mind me and Shinnay turned the world against you lol.

Ezack!

Hey, that was just a random dream.. And its just that they know spock more than me, and yeeeeah...
Idk, its just one of those fears I have...

Is it like chlostraphobia (Yes I know it isn't spelt right)?

Ezack!

Yeah, Im afraid of small spaces, boarding school, not being free, being betrayed, and everyone hating me cause Spock dumped me...

Yes, not likely, not likely, not likely and no. That's what I have to say to that

Ezack!

lol, well, I'm definitely not free atm... Gah... School comes back soon... When is that?

as Ezack said you came in without him do u think you would have been here all this time if no one liked u?

well..... I dont think going out with Spock exactly hurt my chances of being accepted...

I guess I'll just have to make the most of everything...

You can see why I'm afraid of it though, can't you? You guys were the best thing that happened to me, and after my... experiences... with friends, I am really afraid of losing that.

Wôôt! I understand but you know, we wouldn't ever do that to you. I wouldn't see the logic in that. hehe. You chose what you want to thing but we stay here hehehe. And ya I think I would stay in your class.



Ezack!

Oh dear. School tomorrow... I guess we'll see, wont we?

Oh god... I am having a panic attack. I do NOT want to go to school...